Downward
by Marzi
Summary: Chrisjen in the medbay with two idiots.


A/N Holy fuck FFnet is missing a bunch of shit for the Expanse. I don't feel so bad about my shit grammar now.

 **DOWNWARD**

It shouldn't be this easy. The width of his thumb is larger than the zipper, and he can't even see it as he pulls down, just the spread teeth along the open seam of the jumpsuit. Teeth. Spines. Sharp edges, layers and layers of red tape, and yards of cloth worth more than he wanted to think about. Chrisjen has always been protected by so many things, the fact that all he has to do is keep pulling in order to expose her is baffling. Cotyar's thumb stops somewhere near her bellybutton. He hasn't looked away from his hand to see what she has on underneath the jumpsuit. Hasn't looked up to see if she's let it fall the rest of the way open or is trying to keep it shut. Her hand wraps around his wrist and he finally looks up.

 _She made it._

He wonders if this is a concussion. If it's the protomolecule fucking with his brain. Except he'd gotten to a vac suit, and for some dumb fucking reason, the crew of the _Rocinante_ had ended up on the _Agatha King._ Out of everyone above Io, he would have figured them for the ones who knew the danger the best. To be the ones who knew above all else to stay the fuck away. Except there they were. Except here she was.

The hand not on his wrist cups his face. "You aren't going _anywhere._ "

Always in charge, except in the midst of the shit show on Io, she hadn't been. He'd heard it in her voice when she'd been patched through to him. She had been telling him what to do then, but there had been such a desperation behind it. She had been almost breathless, he'd wondered how long she had been holding that particular diatribe back. He hadn't even been able to admonish her for her vulgarity as she yelled at him for his suicidal stunt. It had been good to hear her voice.

She's moving his hand somewhere but he pulls away easily enough, sliding into the open jumpsuit and against her skin. He can feel her ribs and the edge of her bra. That zipper really had been it between her and him. He should have kept pulling, but with him seated on the medical bay and her standing it would have become awkward. His other hand slides through the opening, and with fingers on either side of her it's easy to pull her close. Her fingers shake against the side of his face and her forehead against his feels a little painful with his new wound. She'd been covered in his blood before, it doesn't matter if it happens again now.

"You're staying right here." She nearly repeats herself. She tried to turn sharply, but he tightened his grip so she could only look over her shoulder rather than move her torso. "And _you_ are staying right fucking there."

Bobbie doesn't even roll her eyes, just keeps watching them. She looks as bad as Cotyar feels. He isn't certain if he has the same number of bruises to match, but the both of them had gotten closer to the protomolecule than any sane person would like. Chrisjen seemed to be taking it personally.

"The both of you are fucking awful at your job." As if what they had done hadn't been for the benefit of the system, herself included. "What am I supposed to do if you go and get yourselves killed?"

"You fired her, remember?" Cotyar says.

Bobbie blinks at that. "What? When?"

Chrisjen pulled his hands from her sides at that, though she didn't zip her suit back up. In null g people look younger, but he scanned every centimeter of her exposed skin for marks of the life she had led. All the little things he would never had been told about, all the soft reminders of aging that you were taught to ignore as a society. She was alive and he could just look at her because he was too.

"That's unimportant."

"You _fired_ me?"

"Your probation period ended and you were fully hired when you returned for us on Mao's ship."

"You fired me."

"Yes."

Cotyar reached out squeezed his fingers against her sides, trying to divert her attention back to him. "For once, can you-"

"Telling her to shut up doesn't work, I tried-"

Chrisjen subverted both of them by leaning down and kissing him. She wasn't holding his face, but resting her hands against the headrest, he could feel the shift in the fabric near his neck. She had to be gripping damn tight for the gel not to be compensating. He wasn't sure if she was resisting the temptation to sink her nails into him or smack him. Her eyes were fully open to his half-lidded daze when she pulled back.

"There. Happy now?"

He couldn't nod or shake his head, and in his suddenly pleasantly warm state, she slipped out of his grasp again. She took the two steps needed to cross over to Bobbie's bed and kiss her. At least, that was what Cotyar assumed she was doing. With her back to him he couldn't be sure, but the way Bobbie's hand curled at her hip he didn't take it for an angry staring match. When Bobbie's hand sneaked farther around her waist and attempted to lift her off the deck, he could only grin.

When Chrisjen stood back up she straightened the edge of her jumpsuit, seeming to suddenly remember it was mostly undone, and started to zip it back up. Cotyar's good mood waned somewhat at that, even as she took a step back towards him, now standing equally between them.

"This is ridiculous." She huffed.

"Well, we could always share a bed." Cotyar sat up and started fiddling with his med cuff, and she was back at his side in an instant, shoving him back down. There was such a panic in her eyes he didn't even try and resist.

"I said, both of you are staying right where you are." Her fear only came through in a slight tremor with her final word. She had just watched both of them walk close to death. She still didn't know what was happening back on earth. Chrisjen Avasarala, without her layers and layers of protection, without her control.

From the corner of his eye Cotyar saw Bobbie tense on her bed, half rising herself, responding to the tone of her voice rather than her words. He rested his hand on top of Chrisjen's, soothing her to calm the marine. "We're right here." Wherever her fears were leading her weren't anymore pleasant than the nightmares this whole incident were bound to give him. "We're right here."

"Yes. You are."


End file.
